Sunday, March 22, 2009

My FINGERS are to Blame!

Who knew that my "aggressive nature" is all because I have a ring finger longer than my index finger? I guess the next time I get pissed at Donnie, I can throw my hands in the air and say, "Look, it's my fingers fault, okay?". Sounds wacky, I know, but according to an article I read in this week's USA WEEKEND,titled "Your Fate is in Your Fingers" by Rayhaneh Fathieh, our fingers can be "feminized or masculine". How do you know which traits your hand possesses?
  • Is your ring finger longer than your index finger?

For my slow readers, your index finger is the one you point with, or make a "number one". (I say this not be insulting, because being the blonde that I am, I shamefully had to ask Donnie which finger was my index finger...I know, I'm teaching the youth of America. SCARY!) If your ring finger is longer (like my own), you have a masculanized ratio. Scientists attribute masculanized ratio individuals to exhibit traits like aggressiveness, insensitivity (so that's why I don't give a crap about feelings!), and enhanced athletic abilities. They are also said to be good at math, which is a trait I don't possess out of this list. The scientists go on to say that "pre-birth exposure to testosterone affects finger length, as well as our behavior as adults." That must be why I need to have my lip waxed twice a month. Hmmm....

  • Is your index finger longer than your ring finger?

According to the article, "then you have a feminized pattern that relates to high neuroticism" (which means you might be a bit on the OCD side, if you know what I'm sayin'!), "the tendency to worry or complain and better verbal skills". Why didn't they just say if you have a uterus you possess these qualities, too. This isn't some stunning scientific break-through, morons. I hope we aren't providing tax dollars for this kind of "research"! How about these "scientists" mentioned in this study scoot on over to the cancer research center??? I'm just sayin'!

According to our prestigious scientists quoted in this article, this hand model is "masculinized".

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