Who Wants to Buy Me This Shirt for Christmas?

The perfect shirt for me, the English major who sucks at Math! I wear a Women's size Medium, thank you very much! This site (http://www.mentalfloss.com/) has so many fun shirts, and I think I may be turning many of their images into classroom posters. It will at least require some of my 8th graders to look up the terms in order to get the joke. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Out, out, damned spot!" Ha, ha!

Perfect! This beats my "raining cats and dogs" example

Extreme exaggeration - hyperbole

Great vocabulary poster for our tone and mood words.

Nothing like beating a dead horse with this final shirt....

Digital Books Can't Do This:

Digital books are all the rage this holiday season, from the Sony Reader to Barnes & Noble's Nook - they are THE hot item for book lovers. I also have a digital reader that my husband scoured Lubbock for last year. He woke up every morning, calling Target to catch their next shipment of Readers that had been sold out for weeks and weeks. I love my Reader. It is slim and light weight and currently has over 300 titles in it. I can put it in my purse and read while waiting in the long check out lines at the grocery story, or while getting my oil changed.

However, that does not mean that I have given up paper books. I love the feel of the pages, the weight of a big book in my hands, and yes....even the smell of them is enjoyable. The reason I know that paper books will never be completely obsolete is because of the pictures I'm sharing with you below. It's been four years since my grandfather, Joe Mitchell passed away after battling cancer. Four years later, I still think about him every single day. The holidays make it doubly hard to not think about him. For Christmas it became a sort of tradition after I was in college to buy him books. You couldn't tell by looking at the big, burly man that he loved to read, but he did -especially Westerns and I would buy him three or four every year. When he passed, I didn't know what I wanted to take of his to remember him by. My mother took his rough flannel shirts that would scour my cheek when I would give him a hug, and my sisters each took things that meant something to them, but I took one book. One. It was the last Western that I bought him, and I don't know why I only took that book, because he had a huge collection by the time he died. I found out two days ago why I did pick that lone, solitary book.

I was pulling out books from my cabinet, in a vain attempt to organize my chaotic shelves and stumbled across that ONE book. Grief is a funny thing. It ebbs and flows like the tide and come crashing down on you like a tsunami. I sat there, with that book in my hand, piles of books and papers around me and began thumbing through the pages. I hadn't even opened his book until that moment. Inside, there was nothing that would matter to the casual observer that happened to pick it up in a used bookstore, but to me, those pages contained my Pawpaw. I found coffee stains, and greasy smears from his fingers and it brought me right back to his living room and I could see him laid back in his recliner, book propped up on his belly, probably snacking on Spanish peanuts and having him a cup o' joe while reading into the wee hours of the night. I stuck my nose deep into the pages and I could SMELL my grandparent's home. A smell that can't be described and can never be duplicated. I sat there for a long time, crying like a baby (much like I'm crying now as I type this) and it dawned on me the power that paper books can have. No digital book can imprint memory like a paper book can. How lucky am I that I have a tiny piece of my Pawpaw to keep on my shelf and visit whenever I feel the urge?

It doesn't look like much. It isn't even a hardback book and probably only cost me ten bucks whenever I bought it for him, but to me, it's priceless.

His coffee stains made me laugh out loud, then cry like a little girl. I guess my klutziness isn't all my own, eh, Joe?

A CAKEWRECK of My Very Own...

I don't consider myself a picky or high maintenance consumer. Actually, I'm more of a pushover. I once left a salon with the worst haircut known to man, near tears, and I told the chick who mutilated my hair that I liked it, just so I wouldn't hurt HER feelings. I'm a wuss about all things that involve me, but I've undergone a transformation since having my daughters and I actually take up for my kids. No, check that, I will mess a fool up for my children! I'm like a lioness, or whatever you call a big, bad mama lion. So when the United Bakery on 82nd and Frankford here in Lubbock, TX, tried to pass this craptastic cake off as what I ordered, I went ballistic! Does THIS PIECE OF CRAP look like the Emerald City to you? Our theme was the Wizard of Oz, yet this is more like the WIZARD OF BLOB. The crappy cake was free, but it didn't stop me from making a scene.

Seriously? It looks like a drunk munchkin decorated it. HORRIBLE.

Barbie! Do You Recognize These Beauties, Girls of the 80's?

While shopping for my daughter's Christmas toys last night, I saw this little beauty and squealed with delight:


BARBIE AND THE ROCKERS! I was five the Christmas Santa brought me this rockin' Barbie. Mattel now has a collection called "My Favorite Barbie" that highlights the most popular Barbies of each decade. I also found another favorite:























My husband didn't understand why I was gushing and jumping up and down in the aisle, but Barbies were the only toy I requested from the time I was five until I was twelve, then I still played with my little sister's Barbies for a few more years on the down low! Check out the Barbie and the Rockers commercial below. Ken's mullet is SEXAAYYYY!

Office Fridge Notes

For those of you who share a community fridge at work, many of these notes might hit home! I could relate to SEVERAL of the notes, and found myself laughing at a few of the witty messages. I love how some people bring God and Jesus into their office notes...so funny! It is surprising how many people will eat things that are not theirs! I have a coffee cream thief in my building so I go to great lengths to hide my Hazelnut creamer each morning...maybe the note with Jesus and a Bible verse would do the trick? Thanks, Dana for this email. It made my day!

That's just wrong.

This person is willing to poison themselves for justice...
I love smart asses! I think I would fit right in here!

There's lots of spitting going on around here...

Ick. Just eat the whole darn piece.

I think the marker on the bread is a nice touch.

Aren't Starbucks Frappacino bars worth sinning over, though?

What's with the half-eaten pizza?

I think Peter is picked on a lot in this office.

Poor Peter.

OCD people crack me up, too.

Either there is a mouse loose, or a wisecracker in the office.

Ha! I really think Jesus does have a sense of humor.

Touche....

This person didn't see you. Nice threat, though.

Hot Pockets are like edible bars of gold.

This person needs their caffeine. Thanks a HELL of a lot!

Love the addition in red.

Investing and refrigeration go hand in hand.
Neat freak.
Read the sticky note. Love it.
Horrible penmanship for a threat.
Baby Ruth does apply to all of the commandments, right? "Thou shalt not steal...Baby Ruths!" Moses just forgot the last part, I guess.

A New Look for Barbie...

The Chicago Sun Times reports on Mattel's release of an "updated" African American Barbie. I wish they would "update" the white Barbie and make her a bit more realistic as well. Could Barbie have some freckles or a nose that doesn't look like a plastic surgeon's handiwork? I LOVE Barbie and grew up playing with her, but it wouldn't hurt to change up her facial features just a bit. Check out the changes in the African American Barbie and see if you think it is an improvement compared to the former AA Barbie in the split screen picture at the bottom of the article. You can see the changes when they are put next to one another.


Mattel on Tuesday launched its first series of black dolls featuring varying skin tones and ethnically authentic looks, with a big sister portrayed as a role model to a little sister.
Mattel describes the dolls as having "fuller lips, a wider nose, more distinctive cheek bones and curlier hair" than their predecessors.
The new Barbies have fuller lips, wider nose, more distinctive cheek bones and curlier hair than the old dolls.
The "So In Style" line includes three sets of sisters: Older sister Grace with younger sister Courtney; Trishelle and Janessa, and Kara and Kianna. Each character has a distinct personality: Grace's style is "girly girl," Trishelle is "smart and sassy," and Kara is "funky and fun," according to Mattel.
The big-and-little sister dolls together cost $19.99; the little doll assortment is $7.99, and the Stylin' Hair doll assortment costs $24.99.
Mattel's design of new dolls isn't child's play. Stacey McBride-Irby, a Barbie designer for 12 years who lives in Gardena, Calif., came up with the line because she wanted authentic and inspirational dolls for her 8- and 6-year-old daughters.
Mattel employs 25 "hair and face designers," including two licensed cosmetologists, according to an article in Allure magazine marking Barbie's 50th birthday this year. The magic still works, since "Holiday Barbie" is on retailers' lists of popular toys for this coming holiday season.
Barbie has had ethnically diverse "friends," both male and female, for many years, including the late 1960s-era Brad, Ken's friend, and the "Nurse Julia" doll depicting the TV character played by Diahann Carroll.
Yet the mentoring role of the older "So In Style" sister is "a way of letting girls see that they can take on a positive leadership role," said Reyne Rice, toy trend specialist for the Toy Industry Association.
"Girls age 14 can mentor girls who are 6 by teaching positive values and what it takes to get along in the world," Rice said.

Balloon Boy's Music Video...WHHAAATTT???

Lots of great parenting going on in the Heene household. Watch this video that was put on You Tube soon after the airing of their episode on Wife Swap. Rumor has it that the DAD made this and posted it...WHATTT??? A fan added the "p" word introduction, but the rest is dear old Dad. Be careful where you play this...a bit of bad language written in the opening.

Kseniya Simonova - Ukraine's Got Talent Winner

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in awhile! Kseniya Simonova is the 2009 winner of Ukraine's Got Talent. Her unique sand art can not be explained. Watch the video to see for yourself:

What in the Heck?! Friggin' Shoot Me...

Yahoo News reports: An Indonesian woman has given birth to an 8.7-kilogramme (19.2-pound) baby boy, the heaviest newborn ever recorded in the country, a doctor said. The baby boy is pictured here next to a baby of average size at a hospital in Medan, North Sumatra.

Can you tell a MAN probably wrote up this report?? Why, you may ask I would assume that? Because a WOMAN would have answered the first question those of us with a UTERUS asked ourselves as soon as we read the "19.2 POUND" part of this little story. "Did she deliver NATURALLY??" I'm sure there was a c-section involved, but why not at least mention how the mother is doing after delivering a friggin' toddler? Just sayin'!!!

My Shirt for New Moon Premiere!

My five year old took this pic for me, so pardon the crooked-ness of it. I bought the tee at Cafepress.com and LOVE IT! I've worn it out and about a few times already, and have had a few girls and one much older woman, point at my shirt and smile or have a look of realization pass across their faces. Go to http://www.cafepress.com to check out all of the New Moon and Twilight tees for your premiere showing!

I've been in Vegas...

So that is why I'm a bit behind on the blog! Word of advice if you ever have the chance to go to Sin City in the near future: skip DAVID COPPERFIELD. It was over-priced, cheesy, and it totally felt like Mr. Copperfield did not want to be on stage, performing for the audience. He rushed through his routines, his lines were canned and without emotion, and it was obvious that his "volunteers" were planted in the audience. I would have much rather put my seventy dollars in a slot machine and taken my chances!

Never Use the Restroom in Australia...

According to the Metro.uk.co website, this is what an Australian man found in his toilet recently. Holy cow! I'm tee-teeing myself just looking at this picture! Here is the official story from the Metro website:

An Australian man found an unpleasant surprise coiled up in his toilet - a python almost twice his size was lurking in the toilet bowl.
The man, Erik Rantzau, called in snake wrangler Chris Peberdy to deal with the 3-metre-long carpet python that had made his toilet its new home.
'It's not unusual to find snakes of that size in the tropics but you don't find usually them in toilets,' Peberdy told Reuters.

Another great reason for me to be creeped out by snakes! Thank you, Metro UK!

Walmart: Mothership to the STRANGE!

We Texans understand the beauty and value of Walmart, and let me be the first to say, that I am NOT a snob. I'm a regular Walmart shopper and find great pleasure in cruising the Walmart aisles for deals and steals. Where else can you buy motor oil, children's clothing, and your mom a dozen roses if the mood strikes you? However, there is something to be said about the OTHER people at Walmart, besides the NORMAL people like you and me. If you've ever encountered strange beings at Walmart, and wondered where in the heck they come from, this post is JUST FOR YOU! My sister send me a link to a blog called "People of Walmart" and it is chock full of real pictures of Walmart customers. This blog is perfect for those of you who secretly ask, "What in the heck is wrong with that person?" as you are purchasing your weekly groceries. Thank you, Layci, and ENJOY Lenzi Likes It readers! Click on Daisy Duke below for a link to this fabulous find:

What is Your "True Color"?

I love personality quizzes, but this one seems to be a national phenomenon. We even had to take a "True Colors" test this year during staff development. Many companies are having their workers follow suit and receive "True Color" training. Apparently knowing what type of personality (Blue, Gold, Green, or Orange) you are working with will give you insight on how to best get along with that person. My students took the short, on-line version of the "True Color" quiz, and not only was it fun for them, but it will also help me identify what type of books might match their color. For example, Blue personalities are typically emotional, so books that are tear-jerkers might be right up their ally! If you want to know more about your personality color, go to http://www.truecolorstest.com/. Just in case you are wondering, I am an ORANGE personality and I married a GOLD, which can result in fights galore...or great excuses to make up!

Strolling Down Memory Lane!

A 2004 interview with our local news station....my daughter is not this tiny anymore and it is so sad to see how quickly babiness passes us parents by! FYI - my husband no longer has this thing on his face! Thank goodness! ;)

Google Yourself!

I'm really not wanting to clean house. Case in point, I've been vainly googling myself, and found Donnie and I's engagement announcement! HAAAAA! We look like babies! Oh, to know then what I know now! Click on the pic to read the engrossing announcement in the Lubbock AJ! Hilarious! BTW, never google "Lenzi Hart" or "Lenzi Diggs" because it is a total waste of time. "Donnie Hart", on the other hand, has too many hits to count!